Amanda – Short Story by Lola Hornof

Amanda was an average girl with average looks.  She had never felt special.  Her self-esteem did not give her much hope.  There was no encouragement in her life.  Her parents were divorced.  All her mom did was work and her dad traveled all the time.  Neither ever having time for her.

Amanda’s best friend since preschool had just moved across country.  She was so depressed with no one to notice.  She had other friends, but none as close as Abigail was.  Why did everyone have to leave she asked herself.  Now the numbness had taken over and she was just going through the motions of life.  Doing what was expected but not caring about any of it.

No one knew how bad Amanda hurt inside.  No one knew about the cutting just so she would feel something.  It was the only sensation that registered with her mind.  She felt that she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.  She blamed herself for her parents’ divorce.  She felt everything was her fault.  Negativity surrounded her like smoke.

Summer was here and school break was in full effect.  Amanda went through the days in her room that summer, never being checked on, while her mom worked all the time.  By the time she got home, Amanda was asleep.  They were more like roommates than family.

Amanda woke up one morning.  A wave of hopelessness rushed over her.  She could not even get out of bed.  There was no point she thought.  I have to stop this she said to herself.  She was starting to feel less numb.  Today she would stop cutting and all the negativity.  End the self-hate, blame, anger, cutting, and numbness.  Today she would be free.  She just had to make that choice.

Lola HornofFor More From Lola Hornof, CLICK HERE

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