Without Meaning – Poem by Rachel Brown

Without meaning  do 

I  exist  without  hope  do  I  live  alas  what  am  I  to

see life  for what  it  is ,

I don’t  feel right  forcing  others  to  see  what  I  see

knowing  that  my  long lived  loneliness   might never see an  end  in sight 

without  meaning  in  my  life

I  am  empty  without  a sense  of justice  do  I  see  injustice ;

take   me  away  from  a country

 corrupted  and  crime ridden  to  a peaceful  country  where  crime  is  at  a minimal   its only  in  my  nature  to  see the  truth 

in front  of  me

I  wait  for 

him  to save  me from  all  the  things 

that   might  end up  hurting  me  all  too deeply  to  attest  to  at the  end ,

knowing  his  love is   what  would  pull me  through 

in the  end  is  what   will  make  the   difference  let come  what ever  may  it might  not  make  a world of difference   to me

but knowing  that  even   if  something  so  beautiful  looks  so  harmless  it  can  do  a great  deal   of  harm ;

my  life  as  I  know it  as of  now  may as well   be  a desolate island 

full of  pain  and  misery  nothing  more  could  hurt nearly  as  much   as  being   deserted  for   a solitary  life style 

it hurts  enough   to  bury   all   my pain   underneath  a  hurt smile.

Knowing   that  damage 

cannot  always  be  undone  till  the   rat   is dead   and  buried

full of shame   and   lost to its own  lice ,

take  me  away  to  the  land of  the  rising  sun  where  dreams  do  come true  even  in  the  most harrowing  of times 

it should  all  be enough to  hold onto  with  all   my  strength   lost  to  reason   to  really  care ;

its  enough  to  see  the   truth  behind  all  honesty   that was  ever  known 

between  the  facts   and  the   lies  that  bury  us  in  our own  agonies  its enough  to  die  in  a pain  unlike  anything  ever known 

unto  us  as  of  now .

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